One of the most crushing aspects of Ellen White's injury was the affect on her self-worth. Her father had been away on business when Ellen sustained the injury. When he returned, he was unable to recognize his daughter — the attack had altered her face so significantly.
Yet in 1840, new hope came to Ellen when she attended an event where William Miller spoke. He traced Bible prophecies that seemed to indicate the return of Jesus was near. This fresh understanding of prophecy and other Bible revelations profoundly affected the rest of her life.
Even at a young age, Ellen was deeply spiritual. But her primary motivation was fear — fear of not being ready for Jesus’ second coming, fear of failure because of her limited education and weakened body, and fear that in some way God had afflicted her with her physical burden. All this she would later describe as her “secret agony.”
In addition, years of listening to sermons about hell-fire and eternal torment had etched a false picture of God into her soul. She knew that God was her Ruler, but could He be a trustworthy friend too?
Next: Continue to Religious Experience, Pt. 2